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5 months since you left, my 22nd birthday~written by Brenda 9-16-04
(a letter Brenda wrote to my daughter who passed away due to carbon monoxide poisoning due to a house fire) http://www.ilovedestiny-perez.memory-of.com
{thinking of you on my birthday
I remember your lil voice still
'happy birthday tía Brenda'
all early in the morning }
Destiny,
Today its been 5 months since youve passed away, Its also my 22nd bday today.
I try being happy but nothing makes me happy.
The only thing that excites me is my unborn child.
I feel this new life forming inside me sometimes I wonder if you sent me this joy. I remember always wanting a baby boy. Now I changed my mind, I want a baby girl. There is so much in my life I need to fulfil.
By the way way i miss seeing your face and touching your hair
but when I want to hear you laughter your NOT here.
Everyday i look at your pictures and think, sometimes a little too much.
I'd give anything to feel your little touch.
I remember your skinny little hands, when I talked to you , you were the only to understand.
You told me that you loved me, when I felt no one else did,
you said "Tía Brenda, you always got me here". I told you I felt like now I had no one..
Now you sent me an angel, maybe it will bring me that joy, The joy I felt when I was with you. Its hard to believe cause their is no one like you. Angels are a blessing to have, without you in my life I feel so sad.
I feel your prescence in my room.
I hug your doll and remember you playing
I look at your clothes and get all sad
I feel like your watching so I TRY to be glad,
Glad that you dont have to suffer and get old,
Glad, glad that your an angel because this world, its SO cold.
I sometimes can be too bold, and I say everything thats on my mind.
IF life was just a tape Id hit rewind. My peace within is so so hard to find.
I feel lost and keep having that dream. Im digging for something and I hear a scream....
I can Never find whatever it is Im looking for....
Ive had this dream before you went away
it seems like this dream will always stay.
I question god when I pray
I wonder why to everything in life their is a delay.
I HATE the world and sometimes want to die, living my life only makes me cry.
I tell myself to be strong, its hard to get by especially when I see your mommy it makes me sad, Im used to seeing you with her. It makes me cry that sad look in her eyes.Everything is different, Nothings ever the same...I think Im going crazy, its hard for me to tame. I wake up in the morning and look at your face wishing that me and you were in the same place. I remember telling you that I wished you were my daughter. ...You used to get so spoiled and we used to pretend : )
I cherish all the time I spent with you...Now all I can do is remember and feel blue.
I hope your with grandma, Aunt Delía, Janie, and my uncle moe, and my unborn child I lost in 2000. I hope you play pretend games still.
I hope you come for me when its my time, I hope you hear when I talk to you.
I MISS you Destiny youve always been my angel. Thanks for always saving my life and giving me second thoughts.
Tell God how much our love means ♥ always
and tell grandma n Moe I love them! Tía Brenda
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to you my little angel in the sky ~By Brenda Greenwood
Today i thought of you and how much I miss you, it hurts me to know that I can't touch you.
When I look at your pictures it breaks my heart I never thought we'd be apart.
To think of the times we spent together brings tears
who would have known God was only going to give you 7 years?
you went so pure, and your mommy is confused, shes never quite sure, and to think of all the pain she has to endure, hurts me so much and I wish their was a cure. Their is no cure for the pain in the heart, how will it end
and where did it start?
Why do people have to part??
So many questions and still no answer, my mind is crowded with so much
my eyes are clouded and I miss her little touch. Walking her to school and holding her hand. She was ONLY seven and now shes up in heaven, still theirs one part I'll never understand...
why she left so soon, I wonder if shes smiling at me from the moon? where is my little angel? Its almost a year and still I shed tears, People dont like it when I cry but I need to let it out, the day you passed away I even let out a shout
why do the innocent and pure have to go?
Ever since that day Im not the same, I think it really shows, I'll NEVER forget your name Destiny Lynn Perez For those who dont know
♥Tía
Brenda ♥'s you
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♥Destiny♥ written by Brenda
Destiny,
I sat outside today all day
thinking of the last day I saw you...
you wanted me to stay and play.
How much I wish that I would have stayed
I remember all the happy times we shared
and whenever I was sad you told me you cared
a little smile and beautiful face,
I guess you belong in a better place
an angel from heaven all your life
I should have known from the start
so small you were with such a big heart.
Full of hugs, Full of kisses,
youll always be my little princess
nothing will ever tear us apart
youll always remain in my heart ♥
heaven has an angel and shes very well missed
The little girl that I once kissed
I kissed her goodnight and even in the day
I wonder if she sends me butterfly kisses when I pray?
Thinking of you
Destiny Lynn Perez
♥ amor
♥
your
tía Brenda
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~MOM~ Written by Brenda S. Greenwood
Ever since you've gone away....
I wonder if you can hear when I pray
so much I wish that you could stay.
When I visit your home, its another lonely day.
Sometimes I wish I could go out my way,
I'd be with you in Heaven Id stay.
Life without you hasn't been the same,
without you hear its hard for me to tame.
Holidays seem so sad
If you could come back id be so glad
I dont like it when I cry
but I feel so much better when I let it out
sometimes I wonder what this lifes all about?
I want to pull my hair and shout.
I know if you were here, youd tell me "its okay".
Till then I see no brighter day
I still remember that night, I stayed by your side
I hate the fact that I still let you slide.
I love you so much and I hurt inside
A part of you since you left, has also died.
To me you are still alive, I hold you so close
in my heart, in my head, all over.
you have NEVER left my heart
Nothing, not even death , can pull us apart.
I ♥ mom.
love you always your daughter
Brenda Greenwood
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Poem By Brenda~ I just can't let go
x-mas season '05
I see a lot of happy families this time of year
Thats when I think of you more and wish you were here
still I shed more tears
now its going on two years
God knows I must move on but I stop.
I stop to think of your love.
I wonder why God took your love?
Remembering the the days we laughed together,
I smile when I think of those happy times
it brings back your memories
I love to keep them alive.
Dedicated to my angel Destiny Lynn Perez
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Poem By Brenda~I feel cheated
Angry inside from all the painful secrets I keep.
I am trapped in my own willingness.
My life is on pause with no goals, oh I have 'em dont dare you snicker at me youll loose.
Im waking up in the morning, same ol' routine.
There I go about my daily chores were arguing n fighting
..calling me a whore.
Im worthless, I have no job, he says my family dont love me.
Hes all I got and somehow hes hovering over me.
I scream and cry and tell him thats it, good bye!!
He says hes sorry and he won't do it again.
Thats what he said last time~ I still let him in.
Over and over it keeps on repeating
I even forgave him for cheating.
I feel cheated, cheated out of real love
cheated out of respect, cheated out of self control
cheated out of forgivness cheated out of happiness,
and cheated out of time. If I had a dime for every time he said it
it wont happen again, Id probably have a million bucks to share with a friend
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by Brenda in her own handwritting =7 and your in Heaven april 2004
 Seven And your in heaven / Tia Brenda Greenwood (Aunt)
You were only seven,
Now An Angel in heaven.
I miss your little touch,
The sound of your voice and seeing your face.
I sometimes wonder how it is in that place.
I miss you alot,
Every moment; I haven't forgot.
I feel your presence in my home,
I know your there and I'm not alone.
I still feel blue and without you its not the same.
Everything changed within time,
Its hard for me to tame at the drop of a dime.
I have a little baby and I know that you already know,
I see her smile but with your glow.
I remember the day we played in the snow, How much fun we had.
I thank God for those days and Im glad.
Now I must go on and live my life,
With you still in my mind and in my heart,
I never thought we would be apart.
When will this pain end and how did it start?
Destiny, I love you alot, Don't worry; I haven't forgot.
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