I found a post from you on adultsiblinggrief.com linking us to this site. I'm so very sorry for your terrible loss. Your sister was very, very beautiful and I can tell how very special she is to you. I just wanted to let you know how touched I was by this page you created in loving memory of your beloved sister.
As I sat here and typed my looong original message and cried, cried tears of sorrow over missing you , opened my heart and explained why and the who what I realized I spoke of things that could later be used to question me or scream at me.
I will have none of that. All I know for a fact is you were killed, robbed by someone(s) and if the wrong people went away for it, I will watch the papers afte their release because if they loved you and were "wrongly" accused. The guilty will pay...there I go again.
I hope the trial brings out the truth no Matter WHO did it I want to know!
Just thinking / Dawn (=)) So many things and so much coming in the days ahead. Holly is feeling it and so am I. We dont know what to expect. I just dont know what to think anymore. My head just spins and I wish that I would have stayed on the phone for a little while longer. The tone in "his" voice when I asked you to tell him "happy new year" tells me something aint right. Will the truth come out? Will justice be served? I dont know. All I do know is I have done what I can and I have to find peace. Something I doubt is out there. Just let me know that I am doing the right thing and if Im not let me know that too. I love you baby!
Just missing you / Holly Garza Ortega (Sister) I remember you telling me how you was were finally happy with your man and that you got mams back, had just got a house, was looking for a new job and school and that you were going to get engaged. I remember you saying 2007 was going to be your year. No matter who got a long or what cookouts and visits at her house, everyday, she said. .....Sadly it was and always will be you year....every New Years will be a painful stabbing to my heart reminding me, every year I will know as people celebrate and pop off fireworks and guns. I will wonder if thats dsomebody else who is about to cry.
I just miss you so bad all the time. I don't really have a sister no more. Theres Ashley But she's far away in Indiana and eons away from anything closely remotly to my our life. I miss your voice on the phone, your understanding of what pain I felt.
I just really miss you
Everyday things / Dawn Garcia (You know... ) Hello, How you doing up there today. Thanks for the sun. It is a welcomed change. I just wanted to stop and talk to you. It is hard because you cant answer me. Well we all know I like to do the talking. I just really miss you. I wish we could have that visit this spring. It would be so nice to see you and Mireya. I know life dont always give me what I want but Damn, did it have to be this. It is so hard. I sit awake in the mornings looking at you site and crying. I know I should be glad you dont ever have to be hurt again but it didnt have to be like this. You were on your way to a better life. You were so happy. When I talked to you on the 29th you were so happy. You were so confident that things were finally going your way. I wanted you to be happy. When I talked to you on New Years your giggle still makes me smile. The cockieness of your voice makes me laugh. I remember so many things of you. I just wish we had more. I guess forever wouldn't even be enough. You are so missed. I am really so sorry for being so hard headed. I love and miss you and what should have been. Well one day I will be there and we will both be out of pain and trouble. No more problems and no more fears. I wonder if you have run into Elijio aka (Tony) yet. If you do tell him I love him.
Tribute/ Barbara Greenwood (Grandma by marriage ) Brenda, This a tribute to you , you were so strong in life and your sister, Holly is being so very strong to be able to honor you with this memorial. I'm so proud of her loving way of keeping your spirit alive for all of us. Sincerely, Barbara Greenwood
Just trying to hope you hear me..... / Holly Garza Ortega (Sister) hey Brenda, I dont know I feel retarded leaving a comment as if your actually going to log on here but I must.I wonder what you think of all the madness that is going on down here. I get so sad sometimes but you already knew that...I miss you so much it literly hurts.MAN, damn man,I want you here so bad. It seems like when I start coping it hits me harder...I just, I don't even know what to say, but yet have so so much in here to get off my chest.I could call you depressed or mad n you, you would be their for me.I hate sleeping because then I wake up and have to face not only destiny's death but now your murder.none of this makes sense its just wrong and people they all got shit to say and theories and others to blame but you know what they are just in shock too the reality is Innocent people dont stay in jail over 2 months evidence had to be shown and found.Everyone wanna talk about you now that your gone because their coward asses knew you were down to ride....hahahah remember recording so and so?? then he tried to front on you and you busted him out!
hahahahahaha remember when you came over that one day and Eveltn had just started saying little sentences...you were like "awww little Hollygeorge is so pretty you go girl" then you turned to me and said "mmmhm she a virgo you better watch that stuff I done told you how we are hard headed, strong willed and smart, she finna drive you crazy, you know how you are" Damn you were so right! I just miss you terribly
Thinking and wondering / Dawn Garcia (The next best thing )
Hello Rastrilla, I wonder how you are, I wonder what you think of all the madness that is going on down here. I think you are probably smiling thinking that your family loves you so much. I miss you and wish that we could talk. I get so sad sometimes and I want to just talk about you to people and when I do I see the looks on their faces. Their heads start to drop and I can almost see the thought going through their minds. They are thinking why does she have to start this, why dont she get over it. Well I cant I dont want to! I dont know why they just cant get over the fact that I will never be the same. I will never stop talking about you and if they cant handle it then they need to get over it, not me. I live and breath your name. I miss you so much it literly hurts. Everyone that loves you knows what I mean. The knot in my throat, the tightness in my chest. The tears in my eyes. The way I shake and cant let it go when It comes. I want you here so bad. I try not to cry because I know you woulndt want to see anyone that you love hurting. I just cant help it. I am selfish. Is that so bad? I would hope not. I know one day that we will be together. Nothing can stop that. It is just a matter of time. I want it so bad but I have to stay until my number comes. I gotta take care of these kids. You know that more than anyone. You know how much I love them. Do you know that now I am afraid to love them to much. I dont ever want to feel this pain again. I cant. I dont know how I have made it this far. I thought when something was broke tha it woulndt work anymore. Well my heart defies that logic. Because my heart it broke yet it continues to pump and keep me here. Ine day Lil' One, together forever... PROMICE!
Sad for your departure / Abdo Mahgoub (Fellow Human ) My condolences, and makes me grieve not only Brenda, but all the souls who were taken by the hands of the unjust..
May she be well where she is, for her God knows her best..
About this time many years ago / Dawn Garcia (The next best thing to her mom ) About this time many years ago, I left you I failed you. You came for a better life and I led it the wrong way. No one can imagen the guilt I feel for that. I beat myself up with the "ifs" If I wouldn't have broke the law, If I would have done right after I got caught, If I would have did all the right things. If If If, They wont change anything now. But "IF" I could... My Dr. tells me that the burden I carry for this is to much that its not my fault. But I cant help but feel that it is. Not totaly but in part. See if I would have stayed out you would have stayed with me... maybe. If I wouldnt have let you go back to Joliet the last time you were here than maybe... I try to think that its not my fault but the feeling is just there, like the air in my lungs I cant get rid of it. There are so many things I want to say but right now I cant. I don't know why, there is no reason but I just cant. Maybe over time I will but for now, You keep watch over all of us and over Destiny up there. One day... I love you Baby Girl
I came across your website and felt drawn back after reading what happened to you and your daughter. You were a wonderful person and that is attested by the number of people that have posted. This poem is for Holly and all of your family and friends that are still grieving for you.
When tomorrow starts without me, And I'm not there to see; If the sun should rise and find your eyes All filled with tears for me; I wish so much you wouldn't cry The way you did today, While thinking of the many things, We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me, As much as I love you, And each time that you think of me, I know you'll miss me too; But when tomorrow starts without me, Please try to understand, That an angel came and called my name, And took me by the hand, And said my place was ready, In heaven far above, And that I'd have to leave behind All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away, A tear fell from my eye, For all my life, I'd always thought, I didn't want to die. I had so much to live for, So much yet to do, It seemed almost impossible, That I was leaving you. I thought of all the yesterdays, The good ones and the bad, I thought of all the love we shared, And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday, Just even for awhile, I'd say goodbye and kiss you And maybe see you smile. But then I fully realized, That this could never be, For emptiness and memories, Would take the place of me. And when I thought of worldly things, I might miss come tomorrow, I thought of you, and when I did, My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates, I felt so much at home. When God looked down and smiled at me, From His great golden throne, He said "This is eternity, And all I've promised you." Today for life on earth is past, But here it starts anew. I promise no tomorrow, But today will always last, And since each day's the same day There's no longing for the past.
But you have been so faithful, So trusting and so true. Thought there were times you did some things, You knew you shouldn't do. But you have been forgiven And now at last you're free. So won't you take my hand And share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts without me, Don't think we're far apart, For every time you think of me, I'm right here, in your heart
there are no words / Kelly (an old aquaintance )Read >>
there are no words / Kelly (an old aquaintance )
my deepest sympathy to the entire family of Brenda the cowards that did this to a ypung woman so full of life and to a baby who knows no wrong doing is the ultimate act of selfishness and greed i can only take solace in my faith in the Lord that these acts will not go unpunished the only thing that we know now is that there is no pain for her anymore someone gave this to me when i lost my brothers Holly i hope you find comfort in it like i did
I LIKE TO THINK OF DEATH AS A ROSE THAT GOD GIVES TO A FAMILY, BUT ONE HE DOES NOT DIVIDE EVENLY. BRENDA RECEIVES JUST THE ROSE- THORNLESS ,FRAGRANT , BEAUTIFUL. YOU WHO ARE LEFT BEHIND RECEIVE ONLY THE THORN OF OF LOSS- SHARP AND PAINFUL. HOWEVER, GOD COULD NOT GIVE BRENDA THIS ROSE WITHOUT ASKING YOU TO HOLD THE THORNS- HE COULD NOT TAKE BRENDA TO HIMSELF WITHOUT TAKING HER FROM US. MAY THE THOUGHT OF THIS ROSE BE YOUR CONSOLATION AS YOU LOVINGLY AND COURAGEOUSLY HOLD YOUR THORN, FOR HER.
Last nights dream?? / Holly Garza Ortega (♥sister♥)Read >>
Last nights dream?? / Holly Garza Ortega (♥sister♥)
I am so mad the alarm clock woke me up. I was talking to you???? I remember the 'house' you were in was not a Brenda style and you were cleaning it in that big, ugly old used hoody you used to wear when you were very pregnant. The blue one. I remeber the house was old, or abandoned?
I remember just staring at you and then seeing you in an alley? Then at Target? You asked me to buy him some "more" clothes???? I had already???!?? and shoes to you said? UUUGGGH
I was baffled and just as I was asking you you said "Please he really needs them because......" and then I woke up?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!!! uuuuugh so mad and frusterating.
Not only cause I woke up dazed, but I feel asleep missing you and got to vivdly see and hear ya, only to be awakened!!!!!
Tributes and Condolences
